Freddie vs Jason (2003)

SYNOPSIS: Freddie - devastated that he has been forgotten (and therefore, has no power to kill), he brings Jason back to life to get the ball rolling on a murderous rampage. Tables are soon turned on Freddie when Jason gets greedy on the killing front. Here's where the whole Freddie vs Jason part comes in!
HIGHS: Folded in half! Dude! Casting Call must have read a little something like this: Wanted - Lots of big faux boobs.
LOWS: Machete - through the tree?! Nothing says awesome like glow sticks at a cornfield rave.
MEMORABLE LINES: Freddie to Jason "Welcome to my nightmare". Dude hoping to get into Laurie's pants "Hey Laurie - I like the flow of your place." Kia to Blake " We don't have time for date-a-dork today."
NOTE: Never trust adults.

Sammy: a surprising 5/10
Johnny: 3/10
Sian: 5/10

The Crazies (2010)

SYNOPSIS: Week-old dead pilot infects hicksville's drinking water. Crazies (not zombies) ensue.
HIGHS: Bone saw to crotch! Pitchfork to torso! Crazies (not zombies) car wash! Surprisingly intelligent characters - for once.
LOWS: Random ribbit.
MEMORABLE LINES: Poor Man's Joshua Jackson: Don't ask me why I can't leave without my wife, and I won't ask you why you can.

Sammy: 6.5/10
Jasin: 5/10

Demons (1985)

SYNOPSIS: A splatter shocker combination of creepy terror and relentless gore-orgy.
HIGHS: Pimp 'n hos! Red pants are hot. Scalp the Ginger!
LOWS: Brought to you by Coke-a-Cola. A helicopter falls through the roof? For reals? (Yes.)
MEMORABLE LINES: "Nostradamus? Sounds like a rap group to me." Poor Man's Sly Stallone (Sniffs some cola): This shit will wake up the dead.

Sammy: 6/10
Johnny: 6/10
Sian: 4/10

Dead Snow (2009)

SYNOPSIS: Undead Nazi bastards terrorize eight medical students on Easter vacation. Ein! Zwei! Die!
HIGHS: Twister! Norwegian top 40 rock tunes. Dread-locked girl killing a bird - with her bear hands - in mid-air. Sweet nose drool. Galskav i vest!
LOWS: Toilet love. Zombies can't use binoculars! Travel machine gun? Evil dead amputation/cauterizing.
MEMORABLE LINES: Sian: Norwegian? Is that like - Dutch? Old man" If you stand with your intestines in your hand - what'll you do? Guy: There are no good jokes that have poop, pee or semen in them.

Sammy: 6/10 (for sheer fun factor)
Johnny: 4/10
Sian: 4/10

Prince of Darkness (1987)

SYNOPSIS: In an abandoned church, a mysterious green liquid that has been hidden away for centuries is finally discovered. Various PHD students are gathered together to study it - what they find is the incarnation of evil itself! Zombies ensue (of course).
HIGHS: Open shirt solitaire. Alice Cooper! Worm-splattered windows.
LOWS: Extra-long scissor stabbing on a pile of beetles. (Or is that a high?) Blondie's eye movements.
MEMORABLE LINES: Have you seen Susan? Who? The radiologist with the glasses. (Spoken by just about everyone.)

Sammy: 7/10
Ann: 7/10

Wolfman (1982)

SYNOPSIS: A family curse, a young Colin Glasgow, a race for time, an unholy man. The usual.
HIGHS: Classic hair sweater. Colin is hot! Not just a hair sweater, it's a full-on fur coat! Wolfman jogs! Beer bottle to the face - two times!
LOWS: Colin Glasgow? Sounds suspiciously like Elvis. Wolfman feet > like shoes with hair on them. Probably the worst acting in movie history.
MEMORABLE LINES: Colin: Will you come with me? Lady: Yes, Just let me tell father... and get my cape.

Sammy: 0/10
Johnny: 1/10
Sian: .5/10
Nick: 0/10

Trailer Park of Terror (2008)

SYNOPSIS: Juvenile delinquents + pastor chaperone's bus crashes in hicksville - population: one crazy lady and her band of zombies.
HIGHS: Poor man's Jamie Pressly with hot body. Peeing Acid.
LOWS: CG Aerial view of road/rain scene. 45 minutes in - NO ZOMBIES! Musical interludes.
MEMORABLE LINES: Pastor: Thank you ma'am, for everything. Ma'am: Shhhhh. My back door is always open! Pudge Lady: I smell meat!

Sammy: 2/10
Jasin: 1/10

Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965)

SYNOPSIS: Five strangers meet on a train destined for hell. Features a hot young Donald Sutherland.
HIGHS: Fingerless gloves. A painting monkey.
LOWS: The English COW. Werewolf knocks at the door to come in.
MEMORABLE LINES: Dude: A gypsy once told me I was going to get an unexpected gift. Later that day, I walked under a pigeon. Werewolf howls, woman: I didn't hear anything. Scottish Groundskeeper: It must be the coffin of Cosmo Valdemar! Botanist: A plant with intelligence? A plant like that could rule the world!

Sammy: 3/10
Johnny: 3/10
Sian: 5/10
Polly: 4/10
Dimmy: 10/10

Paranormal Activity (2007)

SYNOPSIS: A suburban couple move into their new home and never have a sound sleep again! They are increasingly disturbed by a mysterious dark presence.
HIGHS: Sleep standing. Flaming ouija board.
LOWS: Man vs Demon.
MEMORABLE LINES: I could barely hear the dialogue.
NOTE: Not sure on the discrepancy of grading here. It completely creeped me out - but maybe because I really got into it. I was scared to go to sleep when I got home alone. I think there were too many lulls for the low scorers. Judge for yourself!

Sammy: 8/10
Johnny: 1/10
Sian: 8/10
Ann: -1/10
Alek: 1/10

Rogue (2007)

SYNOPSIS: From the director of Wolf Creek comes nature's perfect killing machine - the crocodile! An enormous one traps some tourists on a tiny mud island, soon to be victim of the high tide.
HIGHS: A hot Michael Vartan. An enormous crocodile... it's so scary.
LOWS: The Man, The Legend T-shirt. A stick is not a weapon for fighting a crocodile. Or is it?
MEMORABLE LINES: Look a the size of the bastard! (said in Irish accent)
NOTE: We are no longer going to Australia. We are now going to Cleveland. Also - when those Weinstein brothers are involved, the budget is off the charts.

Sammy: 6/10
Johnny: 7/10
Sian: 8/10

Abominable (2006)

SYNOPSIS: A wild and gruesome horror shocker that Fangoria calls "The best serious fright film ever made about Bigfoot" Enough said. (Wonder how much they got paid to say that?)
HIGHS: Some sweet binocular action (where they forgot to binocularize the first shot). Bigfoot angry! Not like you! Argh!
LOWS: Sparky, no! Local Farmers Terrorized by Mysterious Beast! ~ Flatwoods Daily. No budget for lights... or sound.
MEMORABLE LINES: Absolutely none. This movie could be called Abominable for many other reasons.
NOTE: In order to defeat Bigfoot, honk car horn. Bigfoot not like car horn.

Sammy: a very generous 0/10
Johnny: 1/10
Sian: 4/10

Hatchet (2006)

SYNOPSIS: A group of tourists on a haunted swamp tour star in a screamingly funny carnage classic that Ain't it Cool News hails as "indescribably awesome".
HIGS: Lots o' boobies. Power sander to the face!
LOWS: Too many to mention.
MEMORABLE LINES: Redneck: She tried to bite my sack off! Marcus: I think I'd rather skin my own dick. Dude: You don't bang an itchy chick! Skank: You do know the vibrator goes in your cootch, not your ear?

Sammy: 3/10
Johnny: 3/10
Sian: 4/10

Hellraiser (1987)

SYNOPSIS: In a place between pleasure and pain, there is a horror that feeds on the souls of evil. Truly there are no limits!
HIGHS: Hammer Time! While the bald dude is trying to empty his bladder - low blow. Big-ass Jesus in a closet. 80s style.
LOWS: I think we were stunned. Waiting for the terror to begin. And waiting. Who am I kidding? There were a whole lotta lows. And not nearly enough of Pin Head and his band of merry men.
MEMORABLE LINES: Uncle Frank: So much for the cat and mouse shit.

Sammy: 5/10
Johnny: 4/10
Sian: 4.5/10
Polly: 5/10
Dimmy: 4/10

My Name is Bruce (2007)

SYNOPSIS: A real-life Bruce Campbell is recruited to kill Guan Di the ancient Chinese warlord of bean curds.
HIGHS: Lil' Miss Skyscraper
LOWS: Not sure why we didn't write any down - were there too many to mention - or really none? You be the judge.
MEMORABLE LINES: Dude: Forget thumbs, Ebert wouldn't light his crack with this shit! Bruce: I know a bar where the drinks are cheap - and I'll be there. Bruce: I don't give a shit if you're the King of Kiss My Ass! Kid: Are you ready for this Bruce? Bruce: Kid, I've made a move in Bulgaria. I'm ready for anything.

Sammy:
Johnny:
Sian:
Polly:
Dimmy:

They Live (1988)

SYNOPSIS: I wear my sunglasses at night (or during the day) and they reveal the terrifying and ugly truth! Aliens walk among us, revealed only when the sunglasses are worn.
HIGHS: Bromance! Mullet! Rowdy Roddie Piper!!!
LOWS: Homoerotic fight scene. Search for Holly. Saving the world with a hand gun - and the finger!
MEMORABLE LINES: Lots! But here are a select few from Roddie: The white line's the worst place to drive - it's in the middle of the road. • I have come here to chew bubble gum - and kick ass! • The world needs a wakeup call - we're gonna phone it in!

Sammy: 4/10
Ann: 5/10
Alek: 4/10

The Thing (1982)

SYNOPSIS: A 12-man research team discovers an alien in the arctic, frozen for 100,000 years. Soon unfrozen, the alien wreaks havoc!
HIGHS: Kurt Russell - quelle barb! Revolting spider head. Jim Beam! Two black dudes at the end of a horror film? In 1982? Are you kidding me?!
LOWS: Poor doggies.
MEMORABLE LINES: Kurt "I don't buy any of this voodoo bullshit." and "I'm tired of talking. I just want to get up to my shack and get drunk!"

Sammy: 7/10
Johnny: 7/10
Sian: 7/10
Polly: 7/10
Dimmy: 7.5/10