Midnight Meat Train (2008)

SYNOPSIS: Struggling photographer Leon pursues the gruesome subway murderer while obsessing over dark subject matter.
HIGHS: Bradley Cooper climbing the meat. Those are some sweet resume skills! Meat Market man bought some candy. Who knew?
LOWS: Squishy eyeball scooper.
MEMORABLE LINES: Kung-Fu Black Dude "Life is like a box of chocolates."
NOTES: May be the first motion picture hero named Leon. Must look this up. Might be the most gory movie we've seen to date. Gross at times, but interesting.

Sammy: 6/10
Johnny: 4/10
Sian: 6.5/10

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

SYNOPSIS: When a woman evicts an elderly woman from her house, Christine becomes victim of an evil curse and is left with only 3 days to dissuade a dark spirit from stealing her soul.
HIGHS: Flying dentures, Goat sacrifice - Goat rampage, projectile nose bleeding - Boss "Did any get in my mouth?"
LOWS: None, unless we give a shout-out to the Mac Guy. And I could smell the ending a freakin' MILE AWAY.
MEMORABLE LINES: Surprisingly, none! That's a good thing.

Sammy: 8/10
Johnny: 6/10
Sian: 8/10

Cabin Fever (2002)

SYNOPSIS: 5 college kids embark on a vacation deep into the mountains when Karen gets the bubbling skin grown that causes them to turn on each other. (Not turn-on, turn on.)
HIGHS: Canoe is the best way to get help. But only if you're wearing full makeup. Listerine for the unit. DBS (Death By Shovel), also known as DBS (Death By Screwdriver)
LOWS: Sweet young dude receding hairline :(
MEMORABLE LINES: FU Guy "This marshmallow is SO burnt." About the Crazy Old Dude on Fire "I think the rain will put him out."

Sammy: 0/10
Johnny: 1/10
Sian: 0/10

I Eat Your Skin (1964)

SYNOPSIS: Shagadellic voodoo zombie sacrifices + mad doctors + a famous writer. This is the greatest movie of all time!
HIGHS: Chubby man kicks his wife's ass - literally! In the street! YBVS (Young, Blonde, Virgin, Sacrifice)
LOWS: No actual skin eaten.
MEMORABLE LINES: "He looked up and there she was - as nature intended her to be." and "I'm taking you and your lover on vacation"
NOTES: To sixtify Enrique, you just say Enrico. Sammy likes to call it "I Eat Your Flesh"

Sammy: 0/10
Johnny: 1/10
Sian: .5/10

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

SYNOPSIS: In October of 1994, 3 student film makers disappeared in the woods. A y ear later, their footage was found.
HIGHS: Hairy nipples! Those are some attractive jeans Heather. High waisted is always in style. The snot!
LOWS: A shaky camera does not make it scary.
MEMORABLE LINES: Jon " I like the part with the blank screen" To the sticks: That's some fucking crazy shit, Mike "No rednecks are this creative.", Jon "I also like the part where they always shoot the ground."
NOTES: The cat made us jump more than the film. Good one Leon! We are being mean, but honestly, the scariest part was the very last scene. Definitely an interesting way to approach a horror movie.

Sammy: 6.5/10
Johnny: (a very generous) 1/10
Sian: 8.5/10