Demons (1985)

SYNOPSIS: A splatter shocker combination of creepy terror and relentless gore-orgy.
HIGHS: Pimp 'n hos! Red pants are hot. Scalp the Ginger!
LOWS: Brought to you by Coke-a-Cola. A helicopter falls through the roof? For reals? (Yes.)
MEMORABLE LINES: "Nostradamus? Sounds like a rap group to me." Poor Man's Sly Stallone (Sniffs some cola): This shit will wake up the dead.

Sammy: 6/10
Johnny: 6/10
Sian: 4/10

Dead Snow (2009)

SYNOPSIS: Undead Nazi bastards terrorize eight medical students on Easter vacation. Ein! Zwei! Die!
HIGHS: Twister! Norwegian top 40 rock tunes. Dread-locked girl killing a bird - with her bear hands - in mid-air. Sweet nose drool. Galskav i vest!
LOWS: Toilet love. Zombies can't use binoculars! Travel machine gun? Evil dead amputation/cauterizing.
MEMORABLE LINES: Sian: Norwegian? Is that like - Dutch? Old man" If you stand with your intestines in your hand - what'll you do? Guy: There are no good jokes that have poop, pee or semen in them.

Sammy: 6/10 (for sheer fun factor)
Johnny: 4/10
Sian: 4/10