Bride of the Renimator (1990)

SYNOPSIS: 8 months after the Miskatonic Massacre, Dr. West & Cain's experiments have taken a bizarre turn. Now the legs of a hooker, the womb of a virgin are joined to the heart of Dr. Cain's dead girlfriend... and the bride is unleashed upon her mate in a climax of horror.
HIGHS: Not even ONE! Well, OK. The decapitated head with bat wings for ears was kinda funny.
LOWS: Lieutenant spins with and then pulls leg off live dog - too ridiculous.
MEMORABLE LINES: Dr. West (to severed head) "You used to have visions of grandeur. Now you're a no-body." Dr. Hill "Do as I say, you nincumpoop!" As his mouth gets stuffed with an apple. Dr. West "My God! They're using tools!" (about his myriad of spare-parts people he created)

Sammy: 1/10
Johnny: 1/10

Planet Terror (2007)

SYNOPSIS: An all-star cast fight for their lives in the ultimate showdown between flesh-eating mutants and a rag tag group of survivors.
HIGHS: The Bone Shack - best BBQ in Texas! Josh Brolin pops patients puss filled tongue - the sploosh drips from his 'stache. Nice.
LOWS: Spared no expense on the blood (although, is that not a high?) Tarantino's mutant dong. Tiny little baby bike for Freddy.
MEMORABLE LINES: Sayid from Lost: I also want your balls. Dude: But I've become very attached to them. Bruce Willis: Where's the shit? Sayid from Lost: It's everywhere. JT to Fergie: Now THAT'S some rump roast." One-legged Rose: I was going to be a stand-up comedian. Freddie: Some of the best jokes are about cripples. Tarantino: I've seen me some crazy ass shit before but I've never seen a one-legged stripper. And I've been to Morocco!

Sammy: 6/10
Johnny: 6/10
Sian: 6/10 (but she was drunk)

Open Water (2003)

SYNOPSIS: Abandoned in the middle of the ocean wile scuba diving, Susan & Daniel (his real name!) realize they are not alone and fight to stay alive... and afloat! Based on TRUE EVENTS!
HIGHS: Ghetto Ben Stiller forgets his mask. Guide: You can't go diving without your mask" Ghetto Ben: Thanks for that, Travis"
LOWS: Home video recording quality - so "Dead Meat" it's scary. No equal opportunity nudity - full boob shot but no dong - Sammy's sad :(
MEMORABLE LINES: Daniel "Damn, those fuckers stung!" Those jellyfish!
MORE HIGHS: Sharks are scary!
NOTES: This is what happens when you make a film with no "Honey Wagon". Combines indy credibility with commercial viability. (They said that!)

Sammy: 3/10
Johnny: 4/10
Sian: 5/10