Skinamarink (2022)

SYNOPSIS: Two young children wake up to a house with disappearing windows, doors, toilet and parents. Shot with a very grainy filter, you’ll catch but a glimpse of the “action”. There are subtle nods to the Twilight Zone, Poltergeist and Paranormal Activity. If you are expecting something exciting to happen (because surely the whole movie can’t be like this), you will be disappointed.

HIGHS: Ceiling Barbie. Good problem solving skills with the slide-in of a couple buckets. Barely perceptible face at the end.

LOWS: Carpet sounds, endless ceiling shots. Almost empty bowl of mini wheats.

MEMORABLE LINES: "How did you do that?" – Kevin "I can do anything I want." – Demon

Dianna: 2/10
Sammy: 1/10
Taras: DNF
Paul: DNF
 

Halloween (2018)

SYNOPSIS: A couple of British journalists try to get to the bottom of Michael Myers – 40 years later. They visit him in the psych ward trying to strike up a conversation, then hit up Laurie for her two cents. Cut to MM escaping as he's being moved between jails, on Halloween. Murders ensue.

HIGHS: Lumpy wielding a shotgun. Baby saved (phew!). Steam escaping from Oscar's impaling. Foley artists working in overdrive on this one! Super easy head crushing. Spine pen.

LOWS: Laurie's hair. Trying to show MM his mask, from behind. Heaven forbid they try to go around! Fellow inmates howling, grunting, chains clinking. Rusty secluded fortress. Poor man's young Jack White (Dave). Law enforcement passing time by pin ball game. Brushing hair while topless (obviously). Silent bathroom break, followed by bloody bathroom break. The 'ol mirror trick. Too many dummies. The 'ol leg grab.

MEMORABLE LINES: "I borrowed something from a friend at the attorney general's office." – cue the MASK!! "I'm missing dance class for this." – Lumpy "You're gonna get killed Dave!" – Kid "Do you know every night I pray for him to escape?" – Laurie "Well that's a dumb thing to pray for." – Cop "I'm a Doctor, lock your doors!" – Doctor "And somehow Jason will figure it out." – Paul "It's fucking Michael, not Jason." - Sammy

Sammy: 6/10
Paul: 4/10

It Follows (2014)

SYNOPSIS: Wierd supernatural killer gets passed around from person-to-person by sexual encounters in this 80s-vibe flick. The only way to get rid of it is to have sex again with someone else and pass it on. It certainly does follow!
HIGHS: The nod to the future – clamshell kindle anyone?
 Invisible hair pulling. Hair G-string.
LOWS: Poor Mans Joshua Jackson's earring. Slow round the room pan shot. Remarkably clean pool for a dark building. Local/Russian hookers.

MEMORABLE LINES: "I'm pretty sure he would have came by now given that he's probably a virgin." - my Paul


Sammy: 6/10

Paul: 6.2/10



SUPER disappointed. I feel this movie could have been so much more. The potential was there! 

The Babadook (2014)

SYNOPSIS: Sad sack widow mum with a bad tooth slowly turns cuckoo. Sped up by her wide-eyed, crazy, magic-loving/weapon-making kid. And the Babadook living in her basement.
HIGHS: Awesome freaky Mister Babadook book. Re-introduction of the personal massager. Creepy as F*ck.
LOWS: Extreme close up detail shots. Annoying kid. Lunchroom love. Phone call from Babadook.
MEMORABLE LINES: "She won't let me have a birthday party, and she won't let me have a dad!" - Kid

Sammy: 9/10
Paul: 8/10

Maniac (2012)

SYNOPSIS: Vacant-gazed mannequin shop owner restores vintage 'quins and creeps the streets of LA for new "wigs". Only luscious styles reminding him of his (literal) whore mother will do.
HIGHS: Saucy girl-on-girl mannequin poses. Elija's surprisingly bland lower half. Meat cleaver in the face! Getting literally torn to pieces.
LOWS: Music by "Rob". Super easy scalping right off the top (Pun intended? I'll let you decide!). Poor man's cirque du soleil action. Completely deserted streets... of LA. Devastating car crash – when they were going only about 20k an hour.
MEMORABLE LINES: "There's no way you can get away with brushing you hair topless in a movie and live. It's a rule." - Jon "Watch it, fuck face"- Guy on the street serving bear realness

Sammy: 6/10
Johnny: 5/10
Sian: 4/10

The Conjuring (2013)

SYNOPSIS: A big family move into a derelict country home (complete with hidden basement & and angry spirits). Demonic possession & haunting ensues (obv!). Paranormal investigators du jour Ed & Lorraine Warren come to save the day – with a poor man's Joseph Gordon Levitt along for the ride.
HIGHS: First-time exorcism. Sweet long & skinny 60's microphone. Flying sheet!
LOWS: Officer Brad's stache. Arsenal of holy water & crosses - you're gonna need a bit more than that! "Far out" and "Groovy". Happy family pile–up.
MEMORABLE LINES: Demon "Wanna play hide & clap?" Paul "Pretty intense horror movie." My screams!
MEMORABLE MOMENT: Perfectly timed power outage intensified mood.

Sammy: 9/10
Paul: 7.8/10
Jayme: 9/10
Renson: 7/10

The Haunting (1963)

SYNOPSIS: Based on Shirley Jackson's "The Haunting of Hill House". It was a house that was born bad... where the dead do not sleep quietly.
HIGHS: Nel - the affectionate term for Elanor. The Lady and the Tiger. Getting dizzy like a FOX!
LOWS: The purple parlour, in glorious black and white. Holy interior monologue Batman!
MEMORABLE LINES: Narrator "It was a house that was born bad." "The old lady died in her bed while her companion fooled around with a farm hand." Theodora "I'm Theodora. Just Theodora." Just like Madonna! "It's my name, it belongs to me!" Nel "Am I the public dump for everyone's fears?!"

Sammy: 1/10
Johnny: 2/10
Sian: 2/10
Alek: 1 belch/10
Ann: 2/10